Solo travel might be the best thing to do, when you don't know what to do
TLDR: Vito told me I should go back to Asia on my own, and he is probably right.
We've all had that moment (or moments - lol).
You're scrolling at 1am, everyone around you seems to have a plan, a career, a five-year goal. Friends are getting married, buying apartments, having kids, getting promoted. And you're still wondering what you're even doing with your life.
Same here :)
But let me take a step back.
Last November, I was in Thailand, taking a big bus to Chiang Rai on my own.
At some point, we stopped in a random gas station and I started talking to a random girl (hello, Salma!) who also seemed to be traveling alone, even though she was on another bus with another tour guide.
Ten minutes later, she was inviting me to a drag queen show back to Chiang Mai.
Did I know this girl? No. Did I have a plan? Also no. Did I go? OF COURSE.
At the show, I ended up sitting next to a guy called Vito, from NYC. When he went on stage (amazing performance btw), I took some videos of him and sent them afterwards.
So we started chatting, followed each other on Instagram and, wait for it, we found out we have a FRIEND IN COMMON (hello Simon!): the guy I had met in a hostel in Rome, who now lives in New York, but who Vito had met in Colombia.
I'm sorry, but WHAT IS LIFE ????
Anyway, why am I telling you this? ;)
Last week I talked with Vito again and he said something that stayed with me, and will probably stay a little longer:
"Usually it's in the moments of crisis that you find out what you really want."
The good thing about talking to strangers or half-strangers is that there are no filters. Vito had now gone back to Chiang Mai for a Muay Thai camp, trying to figure out what to do next. And maybe that's the point. Maybe we don't always need to know where you're going before we start moving.
We treat being lost like a bug in the system. Like something is wrong with us because we don't have it all figured out.
But maybe that's actually what's working.
Maybe being lost is what finally makes you ask the real question: What do I actually want? Not what you're supposed to want.
Nobody tells you that being lost is one of the most normal things in the world. It's also one of the loneliest, because we rarely say it out loud, especially with everyone's highlight reels filling our feeds.
And I think that's exactly why I keep coming back to solo travel.
Not because travelling alone magically gives you all the answers, but because it puts you in a situation where you can't rely on your usual routines, people, or expectations to tell you what comes next. You're forced to listen to yourself a little more. And when you don't know what you want, maybe that's exactly what you need: not another five-year plan, but enough space to hear your own voice again.
Why solo travel helps when you're lost
It won't hand you the answer, but it gives you three things you rarely get at home:
Space to hear yourself. No one to say "nah, let's skip it." No one asking what time we're leaving, where we're eating, or what the plan is for tomorrow. Just you, and what you feel like doing.
Room for the unexpected. To the odd invitation. The detour. The bus you weren't planning to take. The random person you start talking to because you're both waiting for something. That's where the good stories hide.
(And, honestly, half of the best things that happened to me weren't things I had planned at all!!)
Proof that you can handle it. Every missed connection, every wrong turn, every awkward "hi, can I sit here?" reminds you that you're more capable than your 1am brain gives you credit for. You figure things out. You get lost and eventually find your way. You don't know where you're going, and somehow you still get there. And maybe that's a useful feeling to remember when you're trying to figure out the rest of your life.
So, to conclude, I have no conclusion.
I don't have any advice for when you don't know what to do with your life. I still don't know what I'm doing with mine ;)
But maybe say yes to the weird stuff. Talk to people. Take pictures.
Stop trying to solve your whole life and just solve today's bus. It might take you somewhere beautiful.
